True Ramblings II

So I've been sitting here for a while now, with my laptop on my desk, a headache in my teeth and a cold in my throat - and I think, well I know, that there's something wrong but I still haven't figured out what. For the past while - not just the while I've been sitting here - things have been quite odd, well, odd for my life. It seems as if everything that I expect or want to happen doesn't happen - the opposite does - well, to tell you the truth, not everything - the only thing that tends to occur as I wish it to these days is my work and academic stuff - which in the whole scheme of things, perhaps occupies - should occupy - a secondary position.

But at the same time, it's all quite amusing - amusing for me with my incomprehensible (for others mostly) sense of amusement. I have this odd ability, I think, to look at my general life as if I were an outsider, as if I were God or Gods or a spirit or a something looking down upon me from high above, or perhaps from down below (I still haven't decided which direction I've been looking at myself from).

But sometimes, this ability fails me - as it has been doing recently. Not only have I been relying on a few friends to tell me what's wrong with me, I've also realized that I'm slowly inching towards apathy - which I've always despised with a passion. Perhaps the oddity of my life has acted as a numbing force - things just don't make an impact on me now. Or perhaps I've just stopped caring about myself and things around me - although this option seems less plausible than the former. But whatever it is, it has to change. Maybe this forum of randomness will assist me get back to the randomness and interest of old. I sure hope it does.


That's it for now...ciao, adios, au revoir...and remember...to be born again, first you must die...

~me


now..i shall go renew my Economist subscription...