Politics in Selfistan

I haven't quite decided whether politics actually exists in Selfistan or whether it enjoys a purgatory-like neither-here-nor-there state. But whatever its true nature, it definitely influeces and impacts Selfistan. For a while now, I have been wondering whether Selfistan can have its own Foreign Policy - similar to that of others Stans such as Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Stan the Man. Oops, scrap that last one. (BTW, i spelled Kyrgyzstan from memory - are you proud of me?)

I guess Selfistan's Foreign Policy is anything that I spew that doesn't relate to what I'm doing to/for myself. So, my views on the world and the weather in my city, rather than Selfistan, could be considered Foreign Policy. But seriously, if this wasn't serious enough for you, it's time to move onto something else. Obviously it's going to be connected to politics - that issssss what this post is about - but it's something that I, unfortunately, wasn't smart enough to come-up with.

The fellows here - http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml - wrote it. It's quite brilliant, because it's the type of stuff I love writing and reading. I've always maintained since yesterday (well..no..since before yesterday...please say you got the oxymoron-ness of that) that it's important to look at things in both serious and light lights (that's what they call a homonym). Anyway...again, I didn't have the pleasure of writing this but definitely enjoyed reading it...and hopefully you will too...


Warning, if you are politically disinclined or have a ***** ** **** ***, too bad....
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Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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That's it for now....ciao, adios, au revoir...and remember...to be born again, first you must die

~me