An Abstract Notion Called Friendship

You know. Sometimes, you think that some friendships are super important and you do things to ensure that they don't break. You swallow your pride, your desires, your ego, your self for the other person, and try to do all you possibly can to rectify the situation. And then you come home, sort of proud of yourself for putting someone else - and an abstract notion like friendship - above yourself, and then write a post about it, so that you can tell the people who read your blog to do the same.

And then the day comes, when you realize that what it meant to you wasn't what it meant to your friend.

And it hurts.

Starting to think people ain't really worth it. Doesn't mean I'll stop doing it. Not at all. I am who I am, and I'm not going to change that because of what others do and don't do. But, at the same time, it's hard when you put effort into something and the other doesn't reciprocate. No. Wait. It's not hard. It kinda...just...sucks.

It's days like these I miss my YVR peeps.

How to Not Understand People - Part Two

I made a new friend a couple weeks ago. I'm a friendly person and talk to almost anything that moves - including birds and spiders (although, I shouldn't say that because ya'll are going to think I'm crazier than I actually am...). But back to the point. I may not understand people, or like everyone I meet, but I do enjoy meeting people. It amuses me on a certain level. I like seeing what makes people tick and get ticked-off. I like figuring out how they think and why they do what they do. I'm a curious person, if you will.

Anyway. So, this friend and I ended up having a semi-heated conversation about Hindu nationalism, and I ended up adding him on Facebook. We continued our discussions about Indian politics for a couple of messages and then he said, 'let's meet up over coffee to continue the discussion.' Being the friendly person that I am, I said yes.

Fast forward to coffee-day. I got there late and we ordered our drinks and sat down. He got this coffee with whipped cream on it, and I got the usual - black with a touch of milk and sugar. (I judge people by what they order.) We talked about a bunch of things, and then he started saying some weird things - like how his mother has no problem with vegetarians (I'm one) and loves her veggies, even though he's an obsessive meat eater - and stuff. Red flags started waving, but I put them aside. After a while, it started getting awkward, and I decided to finish my coffee as soon as I could. So I did. Looked at my watch and announced that I had to go.

I got up to leave and waited for him to grab his stuff and walked out the door. Stumbling under the weight of his bags, he came outside, stopped, looked at me, grinned in that way and said, "so, when do I get to see you again?"

At which, I groaned. I don't get it. At no point along the entire period from meeting him to drinking coffee with him had I indicated that I was interested. Far from it, in fact.

Dudes reading this:
a) Tell her it's a date!
b) Don't ask her out over Facebook.
c) And don't assume that just because we talk to you, we want to go out with you, or sleep with you or whatever else...

Anyway. Back to the story. I told him I was super busy and I didn't know when would work. Then I turned around and left, feeling sort of sorry for the guy but not much...

Sigh.

How to Not Understand People - Part One

I was having dinner with friends yesterday, when one asked what was new in my life since the last time I had seen him. I announced, not dramatically (and without any regret) that I had come to the decision not to drink hard liquor until further notice (1 January 2011 is the date I've set for now). He was amazed. And a tad bit shocked, as well. For a couple moments he couldn't process it, and then he said, "Wow. That must take a tonne of willpower."

To which I responded, a bit annoyed at this point, "Willpower? What's willpower got to do with it? It's been pretty easy so far."

And he said, "Ya. It's that time of the year and you haven't been going out for a while either."

I laughed. Obviously, he has no idea what's been going on in my world. So I said, "Uh. Actually...I went out Friday night and went to a party and got home at 5am last night."

He didn't say anything.

I don't get it. Especially that thing about willpower. Maybe it's rational-me coming out again (another of us Aquarians' curse), but I always thought that  you stop things when they start screwing you over. Given the shyt (landmark - first time I'm swearing on RFS, I think) going on in my life - and trust me, it's shyt - I don't want to do things that have the potential to screw me over even more. Life is hard enough as it is...


On another note: If any of you are fond of wine, I'd never had a Soave before but tried it at a wonderful restaurant (New Yorkers, go here if you haven't already) a couple nights ago. If you come across it, try it. It reminded me of a Riesling but less sweet, and perfect with a light salad and pizza...