It's All About Love

I wrote in my previous post about how I was wondering whether to change the topic of my thesis or not, from one of Indian/Hindu nationalism to something about Iqbal (most probably the idea of destiny). Having thought about it for the past little while, I think I'll stick to my current topic for a bunch of reasons. That being said, this 'break' is going to be spent doing some serious soul searching and I may change my mind again. I can't wait to go home and shoot questions off of certain people - two in particular...

Anyway. As you've probably noticed, I've become more inspired by Iqbal as the semester has progressed, to the point where I know that I'll be learning Farsi soon, just so I can read his work in the original. My plan to go to Lucknow and learn Urdu over the summer (let's hope this materializes!) is also connected to this (and to my general obsession with Urdu poetry and literature).

One idea that Iqbal deals with constantly is the idea of Love. Not the romantic type of course, but the more spiritual one - one in which the love of G/god(s) and of the world are key. It's an inspiring philosophy. He speaks about how through love, we build ourselves, we strengthen ourselves and become better people. I won't go into it in too much detail here, but let's just say that the Ana al-Haq tattoo is becoming less important in face of the 'ishq one.



Don't necessarily like this representation of it - but you get the idea...

Thesis Angst- UhOh....

So, I'm writing my Masters thesis on a specific aspect of Hindu Nationalism, one that hasn't been touched on before. One of my papers this term looks at the concept of nationalism from a European point of view, and is intended to be the start of my thesis.

I've read a bunch of books already and am still researching for the paper, but I can't seem to get passionate and excited about the topic. The Iqbal paper, on the other hand, is one that I'm so passionate about that I've been able to stay awake for about 20 hours just reading him and his beautiful work.

So do I change my thesis topic? Do I attempt to become an Iqbal scholar? If I write on Iqbal for my M.A Thesis, what do I do afterward? Oh no....

I thought I had at least one thing figured out in my life...I guess not.

Now, back to writing a paper on a bad poet....

Aarzoo

Aarzoo hai keh...






censorship. f-ing censorship

More Late Night Philosophizing

This time with BKScope (whose blog has disappeared for some reason...).

B: Nabz what happened to you?

N: I started living alone, and far away, and realized that what I'd been chasing was right in front of me and I'd fled from it, chasing other dreams...And I started reading Iqbal...lol.

N: B, you need to live in NYC for 3 months. You see these people. They don't smile B. It's like they've forgotten how. Their version of happiness - making their money, being 'important'. And then partying. Living in this disgusting city. This sinful city. It tears you apart. And makes you something else: a robot; not yourself. We can't do this to our selves. Our God-given gifts aren't meant to be used for their purposes. I am truly convinced today that I am not meant to follow the path they're following. We need to create our own path. Not follow those that we've seen growing up in the worlds we've grown up in. Our brilliance - intellectual and otherwise - has never come from following the paths of those who have come before us. So why should we spend the rest of our lives doing exactly what we haven't been doing? At UBC, neither of us did what others were doing. And if we did, we did it as BKScope and Nabz. So why change? Why take the path more travelled? Why sit in a skyscraper with thousands of other people? For the money? For the feeling that we have power? For the ability to live in this city? It's all lights. The power goes out and you see what it really is. It's all an illusion, and everyone's trapped.

B: You are right...

N: We're lucky. We come from supportive families. We can afford - in more ways than one - to follow our hearts. So why not? Neither of us needs to make money to survive...so why not be ourselves and do what we love? What's stopping us apart from societal pressure? It'll be hard. Both of us want to change the world. But we'll do it in our own way. See...I don't want to wake up 20 years down the road, and realize that I've wasted the last 20-odd years in doing what someone else wants me to do, and realize that I haven't been truly happy, that I haven't been able to give myself to my husband or my children or my parents or my friends or family

B: ...and people love to construct dreams for others and many happily oblige.

N: I can't sacrifice the people around me for the illusion that I'm 'helping' people somewhere else.

B: hmmm...

N: And as a Marxist friend of mine says - 'helping people' is such a bourgeois concept.

B: Love the Marxists. My father comes from the same line of thought.

N: Lol. Don't waste yourself.

B: It's scary - to not conform. It's scary. Especially when you're told that it is the only way you'll be successful.

N: Remember. You're too important to sit in a skyscraper.

Be-

Hadd
Inteha
Khud
Qaraar

Iqbal-Love: In more ways than one...

در بود و نبود من اندیشہ گمانہا داشت
از عشق ہویدا شد ایں نکتہ کہ ہسم من
(There were doubts about my being or not-being, but it was
only through love that I discovered the fact that I do exist.)

Late-Night Philosophizing

As I said to the Yogi today,

Goddesses are made from ordinary women.
You can't find them.
Same with Gods.
We're the ones who put them on pedestals.
They don't come with the pedestals attached.

Barbies on the other hand...