Remembering the Enclave

the car waits patiently outside the gates
it is time to go
yet I am lost, lost in the black light
that sparkles in the haze
all is silent while the mouth speaks
of what, I do not know
do not remember

the sound of silence in the background is imagined

the yellow fluffiness is inviting
yet I am scared
scared of the consequences that will come by touching the three letters
by touching the face of the faceless person
who remains in my mind.

Dwindling Agnosticism

Echoing adhaans in Sultanahmet

Complete peace in the Blue Mosque

Tears at Maulana's grave

An intense longing

ishrat-e-qatra hai darya mein fana'a ho jaana

Life in Slow Motion...

Life is so slow these days. Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. In fact, I've been enjoying my slow wanderings around the house and the city. Apparently, I no longer have my head in the clouds (or up in the white tower) these days either. While the hopeful academic in me is somewhat disappointed by that observation, I'm not that concerned about my brain being turned off for a while. It's been in fourth-gear for way too long.

The past few weeks have definitely been interesting. I'm continuously amazed at how much has changed in my life in just this short period of time since the end of exams. I knew that the end of this degree would be momentous; that it would be so life-changing - I had no idea. Now that I'm not worried about grades, working my @$$ off so that I can get into grad school (fingers crossed), going to work so I can pay my tuition and finishing all my extra-curricular projects by their deadlines, I have much more time to reflect on and to look at the changes happening in my life - and I'm fascinated by how, in the heat of the moment, one can lose (and gain) so much more than what one had anticipated losing (and gaining). It's as if the entire world has slowed down and is letting me watch it go by in slow-motion.

Being used to weeks that feel like days, I love it.

Next post will be less about me + feelings, and more about something interesting - outcome of the Indian elections perhaps...

Racism Anyone?

Late at night and no paper to write (that rhymes, I know - however it was unconscious on my part) because I'm done! My undergraduate degree that is. Feels wonderful and horrible at the same time. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in September (waiting for a reply from grad. school), which freaks the hell out of me, but am ecstatic about finally getting a change to do things I haven't in a few years - music, tennis, driving, wandering, reading.

As you know, or should know, the UN anti-racism conference just occurred. Now, as much as I'd like to comment on Ahmedinejad's speech, I haven't read the full text yet - so will not; however, during my late-night YouTube surfing, I came across this video from Fox News on the subject. I found it amusing - especially the part where the news anchor says that Ahmedinejad engaged in racism by calling the Israeli state 'racist.' Last time I checked, the definition for racism was much different - oh well, American media and spin at its best.

Check it out:

Dhikr Dude

I have a paper I need to hand in tomorrow morning (it was due on Friday), and as you know, it is during times like these that I decide to write in Selfistan.

Today's post will not take me too long to write, nor will it use up too many of my brain cells - or yours for that matter. You may have noticed the new RFS header that I put up a couple days ago. If you haven't yet, move your eyeballs slightly upward, and you'll see it.

I was beginning to find the old one a bit too 'graffiti-ish,' a bit too jarring on the eyes, and all-in-all unrepresentative of RFS and myself.

This new one is much more to my taste. The font is one I love (manzanita) and that I use for all my pictures and cards. As well, being in love with Islamic architecture, I love the fact that I now have an arch in the header.

But it goes beyond just the arch. The picture itself is an edit from Aerosol Arabic's Dhikr Dude. Hopefully, it will inspire me to be more thoughtful in my posts - and will restrain me from putting up nonsense (even though some of my nonsense has been translated into papers that profs have loved - case in point the Chai and Orientalism one).

Anyway - back to this paper on the Naxalites (who are actually quite fascinating and under-studied).

Desert Sunset - 16 August 2004

the desolate wind sweeps across the desert
picking up dust, leaves and the occassional call
of a lost bird
and yet,
I am left standing,
waiting for that which will not come.

tired.

the fleeting and warm smile of the unknown
lends me a helping hand in my quest across the desert,
as the gold leaves my fingertips
the cold night surrounds me
and I sit
waiting for the next sunrise.

(ps- hakka noodles)

Kuchh Ishq Kiya, Kuchh Kaam Kiya (Faiz Ahmed Faiz) - AKA - Aaj Kuchh Nahin Kiya

With a paper to finish as soon as possible so I can go to this event on Monday (the paper is due Tuesday morning), one would think that I would get my act together and write the damn thing. But - it's on a topic that I'm not interested in at all (were it not for the professor teaching it - and the amazing things I'd heard about him, I wouldn't have taken the course), and thus I've been procrastinating quite a lot.

Having now sat in the library for almost 6 hours (excluding the amount of time I spent in the SUB eating horrible pizza, and getting my caffeine and sugar fix), I haven't accomplished too much. Yes - I've gotten most of my notes down and have pretty much finished my introduction - but given that I wanted to finish the paper today, it doesn't seem like I've done much. So what have I actually been doing? Well - Dawn and Urdupoetry.com have gotten quite a lot of hits because of me today.

Was reading the Faiz Ahmed Faiz section on Urdupoetry.com and came across this short piece. It's so simple, but yet so true about so many of our lives - and made me seriously think how sometimes I try and do so much that I don't really do anything.

Woh log bahut khush kismat the,

Jo ishq ko kaam samajhte the,

Yaa kaam se aashiqui karte the,

Hum jiite ji masruuf rahe,

Kuchh ishq kiya, kuchh kaam kiya.

Kaam ishq ke aaDe aata raha,

Aur ishq se kaam ulajhta raha,

Phir aakhir tang aakar hum ne,

Donon ko adhuuraa chhoD diya.